Here’s the thing; I was all set to write a post called “Why I’m Voting Green”. Good news for Mr. Harper I guess: that’d be one Liberal vote lost, from a person who hates his guts.
But his relentless bullshit hammering-on about “The Coalition”…I mean, I already know he thinks Canadians are fucking stupid sheep, but this thing’s just such a bald-faced lie, it is so stupid and anti-democratic, it is so very contemptuous of the electorate’s intelligence, that I am tempted to vote against my better instincts and give Michael Ignatieff my vote even though Elizabeth May has earned it and he has not, just to spit in the Rt. Hon. Tommy Shanks’ face. What monumental arrogance expresses itself in Mr. Harper’s each and every utterance! What absolutely disgraceful Fox-News-style spin he thinks Canadians will put up with! I feel like something threw up in my brain. I thought he had gone as low as he could go, but he’s broken through the bottom of the barrel and adventured on into the infinitely empty drop beneath it, quantum depths of shittiness awaiting his return to the domain that spawned him. This is soiling our electoral process, this is the most cynical thing I’ve ever seen with my own eyes in Canadian politics, I suspect the most cynical thing ever seen in Canadian politics. The Conservative government…sorry, the Harper Conservative government…was not found to be in contempt of Parliament for no reason, and this is far past having lost the House’s confidence. This is being a party that would do anything to “win the game”. Civility and respect are out the window here, and I’m not talking about the bulldoggery of a Joe Clark or the parochial smirk of a Preston Manning here. Why, how moderate and temperate Preston looks now! I’d vote for him, at this point. Things have really gotten that bad. How statesmanlike and not-at-all-about-to-suffer-an-aneurysm the young Joe looks now!
How humble, and barely schemingly elitist at all, does freakin’ TRUDEAU look now, by this comparison!
Gilles Duceppe looks like Stephane Dion next to Mr. Harper, and I’m not joking. This is the most unethical shit I’ve ever seen. It’s the most un-Canadian thing I’ve ever seen, even in the very heartland of Quebec nationalism. So this was going to be a very easy vote for me, there was going to be nothing Mr. Ignatieff could say or do that would peel me away from Elizabeth May, who doesn’t lie and doesn’t spin and doesn’t read off cue-cards. But Harper, that slimy motherfucker.
He just might make me vote against my heart.
It’s one thing to be an ideologue. But it’s quite another to be a vandal. Throwing rocks through the stained-glass window. He’s the worst Prime Minister we’ve ever had, but he’s an even more toxic campaigner.
For anyone who cares, I’ll be updating my inclinations as the election draws nearer. This is stupid; the Liberals already lost my vote.
Now Stephen Harper is trying to make me vote for them.
But isn’t that their job?
This mammoth-in-ice Parliament has gotten so goddamn incestuous. Rex is right: whenever Harper goes up in the polls, that’s a sign to Canadians that it’s time to start liking Ignatieff more. If Ignatieff goes up, it’s a sign to start preferring Harper. No one wants this Parliament. Now Harper is doing things to keep disaffected Liberals voting with the centre-right. Ignatieff, by the sheer power of his uncharisma (and who in the hell loses a contest of charisma with fucking Stephen Harper anyway? Man looks like he stepped out of a lesbian theatre collective’s botched reimagining of Hamlet) (my brilliant gay sisters will forgive me that easy joke, I hope — in my defence, it was Jon Stewart who made it first, not me ), Ignatieff is driving conservative voters who are quite fucked-off with “The Harper Conservatives” back to fucking Harper, and what a world, what a world. This Parliament is dead in more ways than one. Yin and yang are blowing one another. I was looking forward to casting a vote that wasn’t a protest vote.
But it seems neither yin nor yang is happy with that.
So I’m feeling very conflicted.
And so you know what I’m going to do?
I’m going to phone up Elizabeth May, and ask her to help me put it all in some kind of perspective. She’s the only one left, who is interested in putting things in perspective.
And Jesus Christ, but we need that sort of thing around here these days.
The Green Party used to be a bunch of single-issue radicals who I couldn’t work with, who I couldn’t talk to, who just fought meaninglessly amongst themselves like people in a shared house with exposed wiring who were all doing a bit too much hotknifing for anyone’s comfort: a very Ballardian political party, like High Rise. But they’re not like that now.
How repulsive it is, that the Conservatives and Liberals have gotten more like that, as the Green Party’s gotten less like it.
I feel like this is my Invisibles initiation. God damn it, but it’s time to ask new questions in this stagnant moment, and not get the same old answers!
But I still don’t know what I’m going to do.
Because I don’t know how to hurt Harper the most.