Hello, Bloggers!

Happy New Year!

My motherboard exploded.  But now thanks to my brilliant brother, I’m back online.

And yes:  for those of you who were twelve when Ridley Scott’s Alien came out…and who read Alan Dean Foster’s novelization…

10037” is indeed Ripley’s authorization code for accessing Mother.

And:  so there, Mr. Witzke, I now pronounce myself the superior Alien fan.  Also I have read Nostromo, that magnificent novel written by my good buddy Joseph Conrad, the implications of whose name you surely must know.

Oh God, it’s good to be back.  What did you guys do for New Year’s?

I went to a flamenco show.

And I learned an important lesson, at this flamenco show.

I learned that New Year’s Eve flamenco shows are like flamenco shows all through the rest of the year:  which are flamenco shows largely populated by women who have been dancers for at least nineteen years, and do not wish to give the practise up, and who are jovial, witty, well-read and playful women by and large.

Therefore to my good friend Mr. Witzke, I recommend the following:  learn to play excellent flamenco guitar.

And grow a disgusting fingernail.


It is not just Sean, but all the rest of you I am so pleased to be back in touch with as well.  Oh, goodness gracious;  I thought I was going to be separated from you all ’til February.  But I can’t do it, you see.  I couldn’t bear it.  I’m like a human Russia:  you take my connections away from me and I don’t know who I am, or who I’m going to be.

I fully expect RAB to laugh at this — after all, he already makes a point of attending flamenco shows and playing guitar with a disgusting fingernail (line’s to the left, girls), and more importantly he has surely read the Alien novelization and still more importantly than that he surely can’t do without his online friendships…ah yes, but more importantly even than this, he’s like me:

He’s seen a lot of movies over the last couple of weeks, and cannot resist the urge to comment on them.

Oh God.

I have a sort of a meme idea.

Dare you all to guess what it is.

No, seriously.


I’ve got a present.

God it’s good to see you guys again.




12 responses to “IDENT: RIPLEY: 10037

  1. I’m not sayin a woid not til I been to seev Avatar and done sized up the aptitude of blue elves from Alpha C for that flamenco.

    Geez and I was beginning to worry about you.

  2. These were strictly movies on TV, Jonathan. Would you like me to give you a partial list?

    These are all ones I hadn’t seen before.

    I Heart Huckabees
    Sliding Doors
    The Devil Wears Prada (honestly, Meryl Streep knocks me out in that)
    Star Wars Special Edition
    My Cousin Vinny
    Adventures Of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn version)
    The Empire Strikes Back
    The Return of the (ugh) Jedi (honestly it is not just a bad SW movie but a bad MOVIE – the Ewoks are the best part of it)

    Also I watched, very drunk, some episodes of:

    Gilmour Girls
    CSI: NY
    Heartland (crap Canadian show)
    The Hour (also Canadian, which show I despise, but please look it up)
    Sesame Street
    Today’s India
    How To Be Indie
    iCarly (I was extremely drunk)

    And a few others.

    Jonathan, it’s nice to hear from you. And may I be the first to congratulate you on, and blow my own horn too no doubt, on your contribution to the Secret Project? First stop movie reviews; next stop PKD meets GKC in an environment of thrown bricks.

    I really do love that one so much.
    National Geographic Special

  3. Oh, and here’s a guess for what your meme idea is: come up with unusual combinations of comic book creators and what project they ought to work on together.

  4. I spent New Year’s Eve on a cross-channel ferry. It was rough.

    I was wondering if you’d blogged out for good. Nostromo’s somewhere low on my TBR list. I knocked off ‘Heart of Darkness’ under my own steam and read ‘The Secret Agent’ on your recommendation (remember your favourite five books? I’ve only got ‘I, Claudius’ to go now, and on current estimates I should be done with that some time in late Spring.)

  5. No, Matthew, I’ve just never seen them BE CRAP before…!

    Or, no…

    Hold on, that’s not true.

    Return of the Jedi was always crap, wasn’t it?

    Universally hailed as crap by all SW fans?

    And NO. Matthew, we’ve done that one already, and you’ve already excelled at it.


    You yourself are a clue!


    I’m a Conrad fan but I couldn’t STAND “Heart Of Darness”.

    Answer back quick, okay?

  7. And NO. Matthew, we’ve done that one already

    Yes, and more than once, which is why I thought it might be coming around again.

    All I’ve read of Conrad is Heart of Darkness, which I liked. I suppose I ought to try some of his other stuff too one of these days. But the target I’ve got in my sights right now is the Gormenghast trilogy, which I’ve made a few abortive tries at before.

    Return of the Jedi was always crap, wasn’t it?

    Uh… I thought there was a lot to like about Return of the Jedi. The whole first part on Tatooine is awesome, for instance. And while it’s true that the rest of it is a bunch of Stuff I Wouldn’t Have Done That Way, it was probably a good decision to have the Luke/Vader/Emperor confrontation play out the way it did; I’m not sure there’s anything there I’d want to mess with.

    You yourself are a clue!

    Enh. I’ve been called worse.

  8. Funnily enough, just the night before I was watching a clip of Rodrigo y Gabriela and thinking to myself “Yes, more of this in the new year please!” Maybe not Flamenco, but if not, very close indeed. And what you said about my online friendships is completely true as well.

  9. One of the things that struck me about ‘The Secret Agent’ was its modern theme. Substitute Islamist for Anarchist and you have the whole modern debate about ends and means. I found it more serious than ‘The man who was Thursday’, which had a magnificent paranoia but was a bit gimmicky, but I thought ‘Heart of Darkness’ was a better work – but I love modernism. What surprised me about both was how good a stylist Conrad actually was. I’d never read him before, and presumed he was H Rider Haggard with narwhals.

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