Hey folks: think I found the best one.
“Well if this happens and is successful, then this Kirby guy can go suck on an egg for pulling this money grubbing bitch move. Personally, maybe its time for Marvel and DC to create new heros and throw the problem ones away for good with the suing families. Its time for change.”
Strangely, I couldn’t agree more — kind of — with the latter sentiment. By all means, let’s have Marvel and DC throw the problem heroes away with the suing families, and create new ones to replace them. LET’S SEE THAT. Oh my God, I’d buy those comics. What do you suppose they’d be like? “Successful Business-Man and his sidekick Loving Father, in final combat with the evil Starbuck Nosering and her Unsuitable Boyfriends!” I rather think her power may be to make Bad Decisions, don’t you? My God, it’s be like “B-12” all over again (and I still solemnly promise you, that episode’s worth seeing…the most bizarrely satisfying hour of bad TV I have ever endured), just raw, raw, bloody-handed thoughtless self-exposure, pure mortification with red-white-and-blue diapers on it, mess splattered all over the bed for everyone to see. IT WOULD BE WORTH A FORTUNE IN A WEEK, if you could hide it from the helicopters that long. I mean, I think I know a little something about embarrassment; but I’ve never until this day imagined embarrassment at quite that earth-shattering, dare I say cosmic, level. Rarer than anti-hydrogen, more cancerous than plutonium…like a huge unknown galaxy, slowly and majestically spinning in the endless night, made entirely from cat-shit.
Do you ever yearn, nameless message-board commenter?
I never did.
But then — I confess it! — I saw the light.
The light at the end of comics.