…You know, once I read this thing in an old Starlog magazine about how Star Wars took a lot of its design sense from the observation of tiny aquatic critters. Anybody else read that one?
Okay, never mind: here’s my question.
What are ten things that Star Wars did right?
Remember, I’m a guy who hates the fact that Darth Vader is Luke’s father. So even though we’re talking about the whole series, mine would be something like:
1. The various models (e.g. and especially Star Destroyers) look very cool.
2. “Death Star” — Japanese ghosts swarm over a moon made of cenotaphs and mausoleums, ruled by a black-robed menacingly raspy God of Death…couldn’t really get that more perfect.
3. The lightsabers make a cool sound, and look awesome when they’re being swung around.
4. Jawas. Totally unnecessary, therefore totally mindblowing.
5. Incomparable chase scenes, starting with Han Solo in the Asteroid Field.
7. Pain-in-the-ass Yoda, before he reveals himself. Beyond great, it made me not walk out of the theatre. Fucking sorry-ass Luke, who in the hell could be interested in that whiny bastard? I want someone to come and eat his food and piss off his droid. Hell I want someone to piss on his droid. And what in the fuck’s a “droid”, anyway…?
8. When the X-Wings blow up, their debris rushes forward with the same velocity and in the same direction that they did. Thank you Mr. Dykstra, you fucking well CHANGED MY LIFE, Doug Trumbull is good but you are better my friend.
9. John Williams did fantastic work here, actually making themes and variations on themes. Fuck it, I’m gonna put on my Star Wars soundtrack record right now. You want to know how into it I was? I have three copies of that record. Yes, E.T. was a horrifying piece of shit; then again, the man also did the Raiders score.
And so you have to understand.
10. The two moons of Tatooine. Luke is so lonely there are two fucking moons there. Man, talk about coming from nothing…! When he walks out, and picks up the binoculars…that’s as good as this all gets…
[EDIT: Except, as Matthew reminds me, it’s two suns Luke sees, not two moons…and so I don’t know, I guess I look like I don’t know what I’m talking about?]
And that’s all I need. But you, Bloggers?
What are the ten things you like most about the six Star Wars movies?
(waves hand) It’d probably be a good idea to tell me…
…yeah, it’d probably be a good idea to tell you…
And then I’ll tell you the ten things I think Star Wars did worst…!