Bendis…There Are No Words

Well, maybe three…

Canadian concentration camps“, I mean can you believe this jackass?  This JACKASS.  Holy shit, Canada’s in on it all too, I had no effin’ IDEA that the Marvel Universe’s version of Canada was such a FUCKING SHITHOLE.  Ho!  Ho!  I mean but of course, it all makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?  Naturally, tractable old vassal state Canada could totally be relied upon to march in absolute lockstep with a corrupt American government, I mean COME ON, where is there the slightest shred of evidence to so much as imply that we would NOT?  I mean it’s not as though there’s any recent history to suggest otherwise, is there?  American political prisoners stored on Canadian soil so they won’t fall under the protection of the U.S. Constitution?  SOUNDS TOTALLY NOT GODDAMN MORONICALLY ASS-BACKWARDS FROM THE WAY THINGS USUALLY WORK AT ALL.

Jesus!

Who is this clown?

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16 responses to “Bendis…There Are No Words

  1. It’s snowing outside here, too…first real dump of the year. Very nice. Casablanca’s playing on the late night movie, and I’ve got Jeeves stories to read.

    This was all the fault of those damn Dark Reign scans, I should never have looked at them…Osborn threatens Emma Frost with imprisonment in the “Canadian concentration camps” the U.S. government is arranging to have set up.

    I mean…”ugh” hardly covers it. The casual ignorance of it is awful. Like, for all its faults, still my country’s not the one with a Patriot Act and a Guantanamo Bay, you know? But in this fictional representation of it, apparently it’s where the fucking concentration camps get put, I mean kee-rist.

  2. It isn’t that I get mad if Americans don’t know much about Canadians, understand — there’s plenty of Canadians that don’t know much about Canadians. But, holy moley, even if it’s just in a shitty comic book, painting us as the most natural place to outsource concentration camps is a BIT MUCH…!

  3. Canada kind of always comes across as a bad place in my reading of Marvel comics: Weapon X, Department H… bad people, bad ideas. It may speak somewhat of the, ultimately, extreme parochialism of the NY publisher.

  4. I’d say that’s about on the money. Byrne originally made all those things with a little bit of a Canadian reflectivity…of course we’ve got shadowy government shit the same as anybody, but it tends not to be quite so black and white in our fictional vision. I actually think he did a pretty good job making up Marvel-type superhero structures that nonetheless had a slight Canadian accent, I could see myself in some of it! But after he left, obviously Tom DeFalco or whoever didn’t grok that background, so it all just became low-grade Other…exactly as you say, bad people and bad ideas, and not much more to it. Limping along being oddly sinister/ineffectual for no good reason except perhaps to show the normal superheroes to advantage. Like a second-rate version of Marvel’s Soviet Union!

    But man, there’s bad and then there’s BAD. I could stand it when they didn’t know exactly what to do with an MU Canada, but now it’s starting to look like they do think they know what to do with us, and it ain’t pretty.

    And also, you know: Bendis can seriously fuck off, too. It’s not all just structural, he wrote that line on purpose himself.

  5. “…tractable old vassal state Canada could totally be relied upon to march in absolute lockstep with a corrupt American government.”

    That’s crazy.

    That’s what America’s got the UK for.

  6. Yup, but the Marvel U inverts these rules and the Yook, possibly because it had it’s own – almost entirely terrible; the acronym read ‘MUK’ – arm of publishing for a while, is pretty well-treated.

  7. Methinks the plok doth protest too much…

    I KNEW we couldn’t trust you guys to hang out there above us.

    Canada :

    America’s EVIL little sister?
    or
    America’s filthy little whore?

    YOU DECIDE!

    I kid. I kid.
    Please don’t sick the moose(s) and wendigos upon us.

    I’ve been to Canada MANY times, and have never found it or it’s people to be anything less than polite, genteel and upright citizens.
    And it’s roadways clean enough to eat off of.
    (however, that’s going back at least 20 years. You guys could all be evil Koncentration-Kamp Kommandants by now. Bendis might be onto something…You guys might have been corrupted by those “Kids in the Hall”.)

    ~P~

  8. And to think it could all come true if Harper’d just get his damned MAJORITY!

    Come on people! We could have a compound constructed outside every Canadian town, we’re talking about a real growth industry in these troubled times. And for every dollar spent on the camp, you know there’ll be two spent in the local shops. Prisoners and prison guards have to eat, you know.
    Well, sure, the prisoners don’t have to eat, OK.
    But the guards do.

    Why send all this business to Cuba or Colombia or Kazakhstan or wherever? Come on Canada! Just one more election (we could probably cancel any more after that if the mandate is strong enough)
    Let’s roll up our sleeves and get building!

  9. P-Tor, those roads are clean, aren’t they? That’s because we have an ORDERLY SOCIETY…! Not like you weak-willed Americans, that is why you will lose this war, Mr. Bogart…

    And “wendigo” is singular, actually.

    Anyway why’re you asking so many questions, eh? May I see your camera? Are your papers all in order, m’sieur?

    Sadly, SW Marine’s got it right…if Harper had been in Chretien’s place, Tony Blair would’ve looked like the troublemaker in the coalition of the willing…we’d have Continental ID Cards by now, and all the artists and the hippies and the protes…I mean all the BAD people, yes that’s it the bad people, would already have been safely extradited to the friendly nation of Never-You-Mind…

    Good Christ, but that guy’s a dinosaur. NO, WAIT! He’s a windigo, is what he is…

  10. Disappointing Bendis passed over Australia. Doesn’t he remember our proud record of hosting Chartists and burglars? I’m sure we could reopen the Baxter Immigrant Reception and Processing camp (yes they’re asylum seekers but the places they come from they might be terrorist risks) or even Port Hedland.

    What I don’t get though is how anyone could think you could restrain Emma Frost by locking her up with a bunch of other malcontents. She’d run the place in a week.

  11. I think I need to drop my last Bendis/Millar story-line influenced book and just stick with space. Lovely, lovely space where the big Events make sense and are full of Awesome and Talking Animals…

  12. Yeah, Jonathan, I mean if Canada was revealed as having taking mutant children away from their families and put them in residential schools for decades and decades of the recent past…or ruthlessly dominating their lives with a Dept. Of Mutant And Superpowered Affairs…well then, I couldn’t very well complain about that, could I? I might not like it, coming from someone who isn’t Canadian…but you reap what you sow, and all that. I’d have no choice to take that one on the chin. And, not like there wasn’t a Japanese Internment in Canada too!

    But as far as running outsourced Gitmos for George Bush…one recoils at the suggestion.

    And hey, y’know, wouldn’t showing Emma going into such a Gilligan’s Island of villainy and basically just plain taking it over be kind of a great story arc for her? I can’t help but think it’d be lovely to show her really being super-effective and awesome without the benefit/hindrance of X-Men to play off of…I mean as long as we’ve got her lying around, and everybody’s supposed to think she’s so excellent, why not show her doing her thing full-out, and kicking insane amounts of actual non-implied ass at it? I daresay such a prospect might even lure Lurker back from beautiful Space…

  13. We Australians took indigenous kids from their families too. “The Stolen Generation”. And we too have lately made an official apology, and are now considering reparations, but it will be a long time before things come right.

  14. Um, I suspect Marvel does this because it amuses them to put these nefarious plots in the local country that seems least likely to act that way in the real world.

    It’d be similar if Bendis wrote that the camps were being run by Unitarians.

    I mean, sheesh, it’s comics, dude. Not necessarily sociopolitical commentary on the world-as-it-is.

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