Spring Review #2 is in the works…coming soon…
It’s just that right now I have this incredible sinus pressure to deal with, you see. Anybody else have this thing? I’m sure they have it down in Seattle only ten times worse, poor Seattle’s really getting hammered by Nature these last couple of years…
Anyway, whiskey and horseradish. Don’t laugh; it works. What you do is, you eat about a half a teaspoon of strong horseradish, and kind of crunch it around on your molars…then add some whiskey to the mix. Chew. Swish. Swallow.
If your bug starts in the throat, and you catch it in time…phfft! No more bug. I’m telling you.
Unfortunately, mine started in the sinuses, and the old W+H treatment might have killed it, too, but I was late in taking action on it. And then I got stoopid, and forgot all about the jar of horseradish in the back of my fridge. Might try it now, though. Besides, they tell me horseradish is high in Vitamin C, you know?
What happens is: the whiskey sterilizes your throat, and the whiskey and the radish together send a GEYSER of fumes up through all the empty spaces in your head. It’s your classic case of killing two birds with one low-yield nuclear device, really.
Cripes, where’s that whiskey…
What I’m supposed to be doing now instead of this, I have no idea. Did I have no work to do, paycheques to cash, socks to launder, places to meet?
I’m not even sure what time it is, because when I’m sick I turn into that bane of girlfriends everywhere, a manly manly blob. I go caveman. I do no housekeeping. I do not keep myself neat and tidy. I empty no wastepaper baskets, turn off no lights or stove elements, I leave water running all over the place, I throw stuff on the ground when I’m done with it. Blob? I’m a heap. Hell, I’m Swamp Thing. I’m Nero crossed with Pigpen crossed with Friar Tuck crossed with Fred C. Dobbs. Currently about all I can bring myself to accomplish is making pots of tea, correcting people who are WRONG! on the Internet, and — most luxurious of all these things — reading Thor Essentials #3…which as it turns out really is essential for me, since it collects the great Mangog story which I swear I used to have in a Treasury Edition somewhere along the way, completes the Enchanters storyline I first began reading in Son Of Origins (Of Marvel Comics) who knows how many years ago now, introduces both the Wrecker and Ulik the troll, pits Thor against Galactus, and just generally kicks my ass with all the Thor stuff the longboxes are lacking. Plus: kooky Tales Of Asgard! My God, what a messed-up comic this used to be, all Stan and Jack’s Asgardian “technology”…simply mad. Of course it’s in black and white, which sucks — because these are some unbelievable comics when they’re coloured — but then again it was cheap, and I’m sick, and I’ve finished all my macaroons and wonton soup and ginger ale so I’ll take what I can get.
Plus it’s AWESOME. Volstagg’s dialogue alone is worth the price of admission.
Oh, I also picked up League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen Vol. II, Hellboy: Right Hand Of Doom, All-Star Superman #10, and finally one of those Immortal Iron Fists you all have been raving about. Plus a cheap-ass prize for P-Tor, which I’m enjoying at this moment.
So all in all, it’s not so bad, even if I do think I’ve discovered a new sickness called Whooping Sneeze.
In fact, the whole gruesomely colourful experience has given me an idea. From now on, every time I get sick I’m going to take a hundred bucks and head to the comic shop, come home and order in Chinese food, and then unplug the phone and crank up the dishevellment to 11, ’til I’m back on my feet. Caveman? Next time I’m going cave bear. On the list: more Fourth World Omnibus, Dr. Strange: The Oath, Promethea, Gaiman’s Eternals, and Silver Star. And a whole lotta whiskey. And horseradish.
Okay, I’ll just start out with the horseradish and whiskey. Then head on into the plain old whiskey.
Anyway, Spring Review #2…I’m excited about it, actually.
Just have to see what kind of damage I can do to this here bottle first, is all…