The All-Whizzers Squad

Madeley was just talking about The Flash…

Here’s my problem. I grew up on Barry Allen. I loved the post-Crisis Wally West. I hated Mark Waid’s Wally West. I love the way Waid writes Barry Allen. I don’t want Barry Allen to come back. I hated Impulse. I love the whole idea of Kid Flash. I don’t like Max Mercury. I do like Max Mercury. Jesse Quick I can take or leave. Jesse Quick I can not take or leave.

I love Jay and Joan.

And Iris.

And even that hippie chick that used to stay with them…little miss Nosy…

And even Zoom (although I can think of two Flash issues featuring Zoom I’d like Superboy-Prime to have punched away, can’t you?), and even the new guy, what’s-his-name, Hunter Zoloman.

And Tina, Jerry, Chunk, the good Piper…I suppose even Linda, a little bit (although Linda is clearly to Waid as Storm is to Claremont)…Wally’s parents…

Basically anybody but Abra Kadabra. Because Jesus did Waid go to that well once too often…

But what’s to be done about it all?

Everything Flash is all phooked, right?

No. Here’s what I’d like to see Mark Waid write, and he’d absolutely rip it up, too.

Flash as Avengers.

The All-Flash Squadron.

The Flash Family.

I’d even sit still for Barry returning, if I could read that. A big Mansion for them all to live in (hey, Chunk has one! Remeber your old pal Chunk?); twenty characters, all connected. Barry. Jay. Max. Bart. Jesse. Wally. The lot. Are you listening, Mark? Oh heck, okay already: throw in Abra Kadabra, if you must. And reform a Rogue, throw him in there too.

Okay, wait: Jay and Joan still live across the river.

But the rest of them.

I’m telling you I’d BUY that comic! Every single stinkin’ month!

Still would prefer Messner-Loebs. But Waid would be fine too! And I know Mark can write Barry, and I know that when Mark’s on, he’s freakin’ ON


But: never in a million years, obviously. Absolutely impossible.

Flash Fact. More’s the pity.


11 responses to “The All-Whizzers Squad

  1. The thing is, with such an emphasis on the Legacy, and the many issues of The Flash that had cross-generational team-ups, more than once the book has been going that way anyway. It really seems the obvious thing to embrace, as I think there’s an argument to made that The Flash (maybe any title, really) has been at its worst when new creative teams have turned up and chucked out an old supporting cast in favour of their newly created one (Hellblazer, of all titles, springs to mind and like you said, anyone remember Chunk?).

    One of the many (many, many) faults of The Fastest Man Alive was the slash and burn of everything readers enjoyed about the previous run. Look! No Wally! No Rogues! And we’ve moved to California just because!

  2. Messner-Loebs! Messner-Loebs! Yes!

    If Shooter can return to writing the Legion, certainly Bill can be brought back to give us updates on Chunk, Tina, “Good” Piper, etc.

    A man can dream…

  3. I just thought you should know I’m wearing my Flash t-shirt today, wore it to work even. I work for a music magazine, so probably everyone thinks I’m wearing it ironically.

  4. Wait- you *hated* Impulse? The funnest super-hero comic of the ’90s, with all those visual gags, well-developed characters & relationships, zippy plots, the XS story that ranks among the most touching in any super-hero comic… you hated it?


  5. “Hate” may be putting it a touch strongly…but yeah. Now, I don’t say that you’ve got it wrong! I’m happy to acknowledge that Impulse was a well-beloved series and character. But I always wanted something more from Impulse, or perhaps just something different.

    Cerebus after Melmoth was also touching, funny, well-developed etc., but as a matter of personal taste it didn’t do much for me. Likewise with Waid after TROBA — I read Impulse, and I could see its virtues, but it was never a favourite of mine.

    In fact, I never really liked Bart until he became Kid Flash.

    You’re shocked, I know!

  6. Ah. Thank you for explaining. I never had the same issues with Waid’s Flash (I have the 5 or 6 trades, plus some scattered issues), but I see “Messner-Loebs was better, Speed force & Linda not so good” brought up by bloggers whose opinions I respect, so I at least see where you’re coming from. I didn’t like the Kid Flash conversion one bit (not as extreme as Speedball becoming Penance, but a prime example of a fun character getting less fun), but it made sense, at least.

    Still, All-Flash Squadron would be fun, and harken back to the Waid issues I liked, as well as the All-Starman Club (League and Squadron don’t fit right, Posse just sounds bad) that ran in James Robinson’s Starman book.

  7. I’ll agree that the conversion to Kid Flash was rotten, but I think mostly that’s because Teen Titans was rotten…the sort of thing that makes you think “man, anyone here ever think about making a fun book?” when you’re reading it…always with the darkening.

    But. Although in my opinion the Flash legacy stuff has gotten out of hand, if you’re going to have it, why not really have it? Stop just talking about it and do it! And Kid Flash is a great name and costume…so for me it was sort of like Impulse’s OMD, I didn’t care how I got there, I just wanted to get there.

    And then look what happens!

    DC is stupid.

  8. Pingback: The Fractal Hall Journal » Post Topic » The Flash, Delineated·

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