All Over Bar The Shouting, Part 2

With all respect to our friend Dave Fiore…

I must declare the voting closed, for “The WORST Superteam”.

And let me tell you…it was damn close.  First of all, there was a tie for third place, between:

Jonathan Burns and his brain-dead team of Thor, Deadpool, Jubilee, USAgent, Morbius, and Marianne Rodgers

And The Fortress Keeper’s Exploitation Team #1, composed of The Shroud, Ms. Marvel, Brother Voodoo, Elsa Bloodstone, Gene Simmons, and The Human Fly!

Congratulations, maniacs.

Now for second place…

Can you handle this?

Harvey Jerkwater’s “Galactus Day-Care Squad”, with members Gladiator, The Punisher, Howard The Duck, Man-Thing, Dracula, and Galactus…and oh how I wish you all could have seen his grid of how each character feels about the characters…a thing of beauty, it was…

But not such a thing of beauty as this:

P-Tor’s Daredevil and Black Bolt (plus one) insanely Gerberesque MTIO story that never happened!  Bravo, P-Tor!  You win the Golden Straitjacket!

Oh, it was a very, very close thing, folks.  Very close.  Too goddamn close.  And the irony is…

Both the winner and the runner-up, those could be very excellent real and actually genuine comics that I would spend money on.  So let’s give these dangerous lunatics, these enemies of civilization, a hand!

Absolute idiocy!

Complete chaos!

Unexpected genius!

Wow.  P-Tor, not least for coming in first in such a very tough field, you’ve earned what RAB hates:  a prize.  E-mail me your real-life mailing address, and the lousy thing will be winging its way to you…um, just as soon as I scare up roughly twenty-five bucks.  Which could be a while!

Um, I mean…which probably won’t be very long!

And congratulations again:  a brilliant conception.

All hail P-Tor!!!!  Winner of the most dubious honour ever.

I officially declare the comments open for jealous remarks.


6 responses to “All Over Bar The Shouting, Part 2

  1. Great Googly Moogly!
    This is TRULY unexpected!

    Who to thank… who to thank?
    (or should that be “Whom to thank?”)

    First, I’d like to thank everyone who even entertained that idea as being viable. (Or should it be, completely INviable – save for the one-shot issue/mini-series that it could possibly be).

    You guys were ALL awesome, and I’d pay good money to read just about EVERY ONE of your proposed ideas.
    Even the ones that, perhaps, weren’t quite right for the idea of this particular competition, were AWESOME COMICS that I’d love to read.

    I’d also like to thank PLOK for tossing this concept out there in the first place.
    Most of my insane comic ideas sit, festering in my noggin, waiting for the day that I’ll get off my ass (or more truthfully sit ON my ass) and get back to writing.
    The chance to toss out some idiocy was a fun time to be had, as I’m sure you’d all agree.

    I HAVE to thank Steve Gerber for feeding my young brain an unhealthy diet of Man-Thing Salad, Howard the Duck l’orange, Defenders-kababs & Omega juice of the Unknown.
    All at the fantastic value of Two-in-One.

    That the concept that won is so close to a Gerber-esque follow-up to his work on Two-in-One or Defenders is the highest of honors.
    Here’s to you Baby Gerber. R.I.P.

    I should thank my childhood friend John D., for introducing me to the world of comics and rotting my brain with his own awesomely insane ideas. I truly doubt that he’s still a comic reader today. But he was a magnificent bastard, who loved the genre and had the right kind of insanity to appreciate it’s full potential as more than just “zap! Pow! Comics!”.

    And, lastly, I’d like to thank my parents, whom without their treating my hobby of comic reading/collecting like some sort of evil, forbidden, shameful dirty-secret – I wouldn’t have hoarded them ever-more closely and absorbed the brain-rotting goodness ever more dearly.

    Thank you all!

    Well… now that the “Thank you speech” is over…

    I can NOT believe that I won this most dubious honor.
    To think that I could come up with the most insane concept for a non-team is…well… really, not all that surprising (once you get to know me). My psyche is crammed with idiocy such as this.

    But, the real surprise is that it was THAT particular entry that won.
    That one was almost an afterthought.
    I just put the simple idea of: “opposites attract – TROUBLE” into my head and pulled out that little odd-couple.
    I thought my original “+ Franklin Richards & Lockjaw” idea was good for a giggle, but then you tossed in the concept of “+ Wundaar” and it all gelled.

    But STILL, I NEVER would have thought it had the legs that it garnered.


    I figured it would be an interesting throw-away idea and it would be passed over.
    In my opinion, if it weren’t for the “radar-sense/tuning fork” communication breakdown / higher function meltdown, it would have been a hum-drum comedy of errors.
    But, I guess THAT plus … toss in a mad-genius child (with nebulous powers) and a teleporting dog with a tuning fork on the fritz, and it became glorious anarchy.
    Throw in a “superman with the brain of an infant” in there as well, and… good lord, how do I pitch this to Marvel?

    Of my concepts (geez…it’s been so long I really can’t remember them all), but I seem to remember thinking that my “Leaders & Kings” was more to the point of the exercise; a team that COULD exist, kick ass, and then NEVER EVER want to form like that again.
    If only I had thought to include GODZILLA; KING of Monsters in there at the time.
    THAT would have been gloriously insane.

    I had a REAL nerdgasm over my “Brother Voodoo and his army of rotting AIM, HYDRA & DEVIL DINOSAUR/MOONBOY”. I almost fell out of the shower when I thought of that gem.
    But, sadly, Marvel dug the graves of “Zombies” (no pun intended) and I had to pass on any hope for that idea. Plus, when your team is mindless, controlled zuvembies, they don’t really CARE if they reform as a team, do they?
    And as such, it defaulted on one of the primary rules of the contest.

    But, I really LOVED so many of the OTHER guy’s entries.
    I was hard-pressed not to just accept defeat over ANY ONE of the other brilliant ideas (several of which seem to have pulled in the 2nd & twin-3rd places).

    I will wholeheartedly accept any and all brickbats – of either; verbal, written and/or daggers of focused mental-totality in my direction for why I don’t deserve to come in the top slot.
    I could just as easily see any number of the other contenders standing victorious in this wonderfully insane arena.


    PLOK, while a prize isn’t really necessary, I’ll be most grateful for it and will email you my particulars soon.

    Many thanks to you all.


  2. Oh. And you HAVE to post the grid for HARVEY JERKWATER’S “Galactus Day-Care”.

    Even if it’s a pdf that we’d need to download.

    THAT has to be some GREAT stuff!


  3. Well, it really is…so if Harvey allows (and I can figure out how to do things on my computer), I’ll definitely post it.

    Too bad about your Leaders and Lieges, P-Tor, a concept I really liked…but you know, the fun thing about this whole meme-blogging thing I seem to have gotten myself into here lately is just how tight every race is. The comics blogger imagination seems to be bottomless — and I think I can tell that for you all, just as for me, it’s a pretty great recreative experience. I believe I may have mentioned it somewhere before, that although for some reason the prevailing story seems to be that play and work are opposed qualities, in my belief they really are not — the ground is the hidden source of the marvellous order we perceive in the figure, and recreation forms an important part of cognition, rather than just a relief from it. So I guess this is all good for us, this thinking about ridiculous meme-stuff. Anyway I strongly suspect it’s good for me…and more importantly, perhaps, it shows that there’s still a lot of life in the simple bits and pieces of the comic book superhero form, even if at the moment it seems to be buried under bucketloads of inert junk. Maybe Dave Fiore is right: it was the letter pages that made it all work. The fannish conversation between the figure and the ground. For the life of me I can’t understand why there is no Galactus Day-Care Squad or Daredevil/Black Bolt team-up, or indeed any of these excellent ideas, on offer from the big comics companies…but oh well. At least I get to read ’em here!

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to procure a lame prize for somebody.

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