I’m just looking at this thing right now.
For the last month or so, I’ve been making myself an actual cup of coffee in the mornings. Sometimes I go all crazy and have two cups. Ooooh! But this…
This isn’t a cup, this is a vase or something. Good Christ, was I really plowing through two of these a day back in April? It’s a wonder my head didn’t unscrew itself and fly away. What is this? How did this happen? What in the hell is going on?
I picture the future: “Hey, anybody else notice that people back in late C20 and early C21 made a whole lot of really bad choices all the time?” “Well, what d’you expect? They were drinking like two wine bottles full of coffee every day, right? And washing ’em down with a pint of fried mayonnaise. Hell, we’re lucky there’s even a world left, man…”
Damn it, from now on it’s only rainwater for me, seriously. This whole thing is getting out of hand, I feel like the Hunter S. Thompson of coffee or something. The carpet’s full of snakes all of a sudden, you know?
No, it isn’t the criticism of luxury, okay you got me there.
Or…waitaminute, holy cats, maybe it is, and you don’t…!