Flashback! To “The Time-Traveller’s Wife…!”

This will be a short one, but true.

None of my friends think this is funny.

…So I was flicking channels on the TV one day, and came across “The Time-Traveller’s Wife”, which was a bit more than half over by then.  Though I can’t fathom Rachel McAdams’ predilection for such stuff, I figured since she’s Canadian I might as well support the team and have a look…also I don’t hate Eric Bana, do I, because he played Bruce Banner in “Hulk” and also Watered-Down Khan in “Star Trek: Nemesis” or whatever it was.

So I turn the thing on, and it’s this awful tearjerking scene where their marriage (or whatever) is falling apart, because they’re experiencing things in a different order and IT’S A METAPHOR and honestly I already get this, I get all of it, one glance is enough to tell me what I need to know.  So I turn it off.  But then…

I can’t help wondering, you see, just how they suck people in to the narrative, to the point where what I just saw could be bearable.  Where do they begin?  They can’t start out with all this goopy stuff right away, can they?

So when it gets replayed around midnight, I decide to check out how it starts…and you know the beginning of it isn’t half-bad?

I can see why people would choose to get some popcorn and watch the rest?

But having already lived through the future of this movie, I know what’s coming, and decide to spare myself the pain of getting too involved with it.

That’s it.  That’s the joke.  But it really happened!

I think maybe someone OD’ed on some Alan Moore a bit, before making this thing…surely any experienced SF reader must’ve seen, after just a few minutes, the whole plan of it floating entire before their eyes, a crystalline time-solid?  Yes, Veidt killed Blake, and half New York…hold on, Laurie, I’m explaining it to Rorschach five minutes from now…anyway…

Uh…

…Happy Valentine’s Day?

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