My Blog Saw Something

The LOLs are not what they seem…!

But seriously folks.  It’s a red-letter day, because I haven’t done a link- or booster-post for ages, therefore by now I have actually seen TOO MUCH for me to try condensing it all down into some creme de la creme post and…

Huh.  WordPress is actually letting me type this without autosaving every 500 milliseconds?

Well, that pleases me no end!

Maybe now I can abandon my workarounds!  You know, that is really a very nice thing, because I did actually complain to the WP folks and felt bad about it because I think I sounded like a bit of a ranting troll…but now it’s fixed?

Now it works fine?

See, this is why I stick with WP:  they listen.  And listening covers a multitude of sins.  And listening can be valuable.  For example…

My blog saw something.  Something it can’t keep quiet about, so I thought we should bring it to the attention of the authorities?  And no, it wasn’t this Twitter exchange:

A:  “What even is a horse”

B:  “A sort of tall, hoofed dog”

Although let’s face it, somebody ought to be notified about that…

…But no, instead one of the major things my blog couldn’t keep having nightmares about was this fabulous new Mindless-constituent webcomic, which I was fortunate enough to be asked to read a bit of script for, and which I also QUITE LIKE…to the point where, for the first time ever, I signed on to a Forum.  Oooh, it’s quite intimidating, actually…this is that Thing One Will Start Seeing More And More Of As Time Goes By, the gamer’s webcomic, and so I’m absolutely OUT TO LUNCH about most of the theory they’re discussing over there, having stopped playing video games around about the time I became UNIVERSAL CHAMPION OF ASTEROIDS, which was about a year before they added “Shield” to the game…completely ruining its elegance if you ask me, like adding Dynamite to Rock Scissors Paper…I mean as far as I recall, Han Solo did not get to rely on the Millenium Falcon’s shields when he was flying through the asteroid belt?  Although I guess it’s possible George Lucas has inserted something about asteroid-shields into his many many revisions of Star Wars and honestly it is not about him raping my childhood, it’s just about how Star Wars is only a good movie for about the same length of time that your attention isn’t deliberately called to the many many ways in which it’s actually kind of a shitty movie?  Which it does miraculously turn into, as soon as there’s a guy doing a Stan Laurel pratfall off a CGI Bantha in the street behind where Obi-Wan is telling the Stormtroopers that these aren’t the droids they’re looking for…

…And that’s why after seeing the Special Edition, finally at long last, I followed suit behind Ed and swore off Star Wars forever and ever.  “This goddamn movie is dead to me now,” I swore, after making the INCREDIBLE mistake of having anything to do with something that could get the letters SE tacked onto the end of it…really my own fault, because would I ever read Dante’s Inferno SE?  The one with the extra Tenth Level of Hell that Dante always wanted to put in there, loosely modelled on his mother-in-law’s house, that expends ten volumes on how instead of the Prosecco he’d ordered for his wedding reception there was just a barrel of this crappy homemade white wine, so they had to junk the dessert course altogether and people just got wasted instead and puked on the lawn, and the priest was scandalized and ANYWAY WHERE DID THE MONEY GO?  Because don’t tell me those little wedding favours cost all that much…

Vanity, vanity.  All is vanity.  What I should’ve done is follow my old roommate’s example, from when he went to see the SE in the theatre…

“So how was it?”  I asked him.

“Uh…”

“Did you not see it, or something?”

“No…no, it’s just…I did all these mushrooms beforehand?  So the whole movie, I was so high, I just watched Chewbacca.”

“…What?”

“Seriously, he is in a LOT of scenes.  In the background, flipping switches.  Steering the ship.  Bringing up the rear.”

“…Are you serious?”

He just looked at me.  “Plok, man,” he said.  “I have never been more serious in my LIFE.”

And so the movie got his highest recommendation, but I should’ve known…should’ve known…

But anyway, I never knew anything about video games, after “Shield” came along.  Because it was all just so much Jar-Jar to me after that.  So the learning curve is a bit peculiar when it comes to the Project:  Ballad Forum!  I feel just like Buck Rogers, only thankfully this future doesn’t thoughtlessly mirror the racism and sexism of my own time…and strangely, I did end up watching Star Wars just one more time…

…And I must say it’s nice to see it go out on a high note.

But…

Where was I?

Hold on…let me think

JUXTAPOSITION!

Darn it.  Sorry, that tends to happen sometimes:  wild juxtaposition, grown unruly in the margins of my thought.  Anyway I was talking about Project: Ballad.  I think it’ll be a fun exercise, and it’s got a lot of love in it, and it’s a friend, so this is my recommendation.  But…

I can’t leave you just with P:B, when I haven’t done one of these linkposts in so long!

So let me boost another Mindless thing, the wonderful article on THRILL-POWER that’s every bit as much essential reading as the classic Prismatic Age or Candyfloss Horizons pieces out of the Dark Dimension…though it’s silly, given the Deep Quality of the Mindless site, to try to make anything like a Greatest Hits here…you should just read every post, that’s all…but if you want to know what is OF THE MOMENT in terms of Industry Issues, then this is where you’ve got to go…

I mean:  we’ve all felt that tug, haven’t we?  That’s what a lot of us are doing out here in comics blogland, trying to dissect that insouciance of things of their time, maybe more particularly just hoping to run into the new thing, that feels like it has something in common with those old things…and trying to expand our horizons as we move along.

BUT!

“Home” doesn’t necessarily stay the same, while we’re off on our adventures.  So check out David Brothers, slowly hitting the same wall I’ve been slowly hitting for about five years, only saying much more about it in much straighter language, in exactly the most dangerous position one can be in, to say it:  well what else is a person supposed to possibly do?  It is probably impossible not to hit that wall at some point;  we don’t give up comics because they’re “kid stuff” anymore, but OH LORD WE COULD ALMOST WISH WE DID.  Anyway…

Yeah:  boycott that Avengers movie.  Or if you feel that’s too harsh a position, check out what a reasonable man says about it…

Just had to get that in there, you’ll forgive me I’m sure.

So anyway what else is going on in the world, besides P:B which you should definitely check out?  I won’t shill for record albums right now, just because I’ve been doing enough of that on Twitter…

Hmm…

Well…

Inspired by Michael and Kevin, I guess I could reveal my secret project, because it was supposed to be done last year but wasn’t:  essentially it’s a website that puts up what they call “content”, but in a concert mode rather than a publishing mode.  You use the site on spec, we charge people three bucks to visit it, a dollar goes to site costs with what’s left over after going to honoraria for producers/performers in case their show tanks…and the remaining two dollars are of the 50/50 draw variety.  Additionally, everyone who pays their shot to enter gets to participate in what I’m calling “user-generated advertising”:  having a website means having space to run ads, but we don’t sell that space, we SPEND it…on what attendees think deserves more recognition.

That’s the Hall.  Downstairs is the Lounge, that costs a membership fee to get into, that gives a discount on Hall shows.  See, it’s just like a pub!  And down in the Lounge there’s a yearly resident performer.  For the first year I hope it’ll be my friend Ed, doing his restaging of Jaws, acting out The Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire in a gorilla suit, airing the classic cliffhanger series Brave New Show…and upstairs in the Hall, for the first year I’ll be putting on three shows just to set the tone for the “neighbourhoodliness” of this place.  The first will be “Poseidon’s People”, a two-day interactive jazz/pop/flamenco opera about the migration of the proto-Hittites (among others) into the Mediterranean Basin…so now you know why posting has slowed down around here, I guess…that one’s not just starring my friend the superb flamenco guitarist and my other friend the award-winning jazz guitarist, but also starring our good friends Andrew Hickey, David Allison, and Gareth Madeley…

So it should be a hoot, once it gets done?

…And the second will be something a lot like a radio play called “Tales Of New Liverpool”;  a murder-mystery with Moorean/Morrisonian overtones and a Twin Peaks vibe, set in my home town of Vancouver in 1898.  Also with people you know from blogland…

And then probably the third will be a thing called “Hinterland” that I once imagined as a nine-part adventure serial sort of lightly in the mode of Blake’s Seven…rather than an America scribbled large across the galaxy, or even an England, this would be a Canada…er, sort of like, Doctor Who visits Planet Canada?  And finds it’s a surprisingly complicated place.  I’m seeing Tom Baker for it:  because if you don’t have a sense of the absurd, this place’ll KILL ya, seriously.

You’ll die of exposure.

Oh God, I feel it’s happening to me right now.  But I have to tell it sometime, and if Michael and Kevin can do their thing all unafraid-because-awesome?

Then I can do mine, too.

Just one problem.

I don’t know how to make the website.  I don’t even know how to start.  I use a rotary phone.  My CD player is an old thing you used to use in a car…you used to just plug it in to the where the cigarette lighter was?  WORKS AWESOME!  But is perhaps a symbol of something, in a couple of different ways.

Though I fear to know what.

Oh well…Michael and Kevin adequately show that making the stuff is primary…and everything after is just everything after.  I’m certain it’ll work out.  You know…

…One way or another.

And you guys deserve more links!  I’ve been so stingy!  I’ll post again soon, but here are a couple to send you out on:

Diane is the name of his tape recorder.

Far better than Bowie and Burroughs.

I kind of want this.

Old Joe Campbell, shoved through a strange karmic process, found himself re-empowered as…CAVE-MAN!

Bit of Dan GoldmanYou should read.

Also…okay, a little shilling-for-record after all.  This one’s self-sold, so no redistributed money from Mick Jagger…every penny, should you deign to throw a penny, would count…

HEY…!

But Project: Ballad doesn’t even cost a penny!

And also three documentaries I love, that I can’t recommend highly enough:  “Between The Folds”, a documentary movie about origami, apparently narrated by a Parker Posey character from a Christopher Guest movie?  But worth it just the same…

From PBS, as is the one whose name I can’t remember about DEAF SLAM POETRY IN NYC…!  Now I have to learn ASL, no foolin’…

And then finally, I don’t know where in hell it’s from but in B.C. it’s shown on Knowledge Network, it’s called “Indian Hill Railways” and it damn well astonishes me, for reasons I can’t even say…

…But if you went and took a look at Project: Ballad, you might be as pleased to see the level of INSANE love these guys have for Homestuck…I mean it is out of order really.

But very entertaining.

Well, we’ve gotta enjoy these things while we’ve got ‘em, don’t we?

Send you out on a song, Bloggers:

Here it is.

Now don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya.

…Uh, even if it was weird?  AW, SCREW IT!

SEND-OFF!

Nice to see you folks.

You all remind me of THIS!

Or…

…Oh no wait, that’s ME that reminds me of!

As you were, then, gentlemen.

Gosh, this went on for a bit though?  One can’t help but wonder a bit about the POINT?

Oh yes the POINT.

Back up top is where it’s located, I think.

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2 responses to “My Blog Saw Something

  1. For Andrew, and in the name of completeness and truth and accuracy and INSANITY, I leave the following:

    I think Hugh Laurie does justice and respect to these old songs? Particularly I like his vocal on this one…

    WordPress is kind of fucking with me now, by trying to get to, uh…”social” with me.

    GOOD JOB! YOU’VE PUBLISHED X POSTS! WHY NOT SHOOT FOR X+1 POSTS NOW!

    Indeed.

    Whyever not.

    One strives with all one’s might to think of a reason, Jeeves.

  2. Pingback: Chapter One Begins! | Project: Ballad·

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