Archive for May, 2010

CHOCOLATE-COVERED COTTON…!

…Hey, it turns out people don’t like it.

Hola, Bloggers, and especially all of you who participated in the Space-Show Meme! I come before you today to admit that I messed this one up HUGE, and therefore before I have to have the island bombed in order to wipe out my mistakes, let me just say that the voting system I presented to you before sounded like gibberish…!

And that here is the real deal, and if I can still catch your attention on this I would like you please to vote.

In the following manner, in the comments:

To decide which three entrants should get first, second, and third pick of the prizes on offer (prizes detailed in a non-halfassed fashion below), everybody who submitted any entry at all, anyone whose name is beside an idea, is entitled to vote for their Top Three Pitches…out of the total pool represented in both this post’s comments, and this post’s comments.  All together, those are the ones you get to pick your Top Three from.  Your first vote is worth three points, your second is worth two points, and your third is worth one point.  You can vote for yourself in second or third spot if you want to, but not first as that would be unseemly, and naturally you can’t vote for yourself twice.

I’ll vote too, once you’re all done…excluding my own “camouflaged” entry.  And unlike the way it went down in the Time-Travel Meme, my vote’ll be just like yours, no extra weighting.

Instead, somebody else will get that extra weighting:  two extra votes (worth one point apiece) to cast into the above-mentioned Prize Round, for whichever entry or entries they please except their own, once everybody including me has voted their Top Three.

And to determine who this person will be, this person with the “swing votes” (if you will), we’ll all take the bunch of people who submitted more than one proposal, and vote another “top three” from just their entries…but of course you can’t pick a pitch for this “top three”, that you already picked for the Top Three.  So whatever pitches are left over from the double-submitters, that you didn’t already vote for…you rank them in a top-three order.  But unlike the Prize Round, in this round — the “Swing” Round — you can’t vote for yourself.

I know, it’s still ridiculously complicated.  But to boil it down, you first vote for the Top Three of what submissions you like the best…then for the “top three” of the extra submissions you like the best.  And you can vote for yourself in the first Three, but you can’t vote for yourself in the second “three”.

Oh God, Yossarian, it’s all going wrong…it’s a total disaster…

Then, the final note:  you email me and guess whose submission was really mine under a false name.  And I will give you a clue:  “I” am one of the people who made more than one pitch.

And the first person to guess right, wins an extra one-point vote to cast in the Prize Round, for anybody including themselves…

…But if nobody guesses right, the person who let me post under their name gets two one-point votes to cast in the Prize Round for anybody except themselves.

But then they get their pick of whatever prizes are left over, just as if they were a fourth winner….

And, damn, it’s not going to work, I know it…

…But if it did work, here’s what it would look like, in the comments below:

“PERSON WHO SUBMITTED ENTRY IN EITHER POST:

Prize Round: out of both posts, my favourite entries are

1Favourite Entry (3 points)

2Second-Favourite Entry (2 points)

3Third-Favourite Entry (1 point)

“Swing” Round:  out of both posts, my favourite additional submissions by an entrant are:

1Favourite Additional Entry (3 points)

2Second-Favourite Additional Entry (2 points)

3Third-Favourite Additional Entry (1 point)

And now pardon me while I email Plok with my guess at who he was pretending to be.”

And then that would be totally fine, guys!

And now:  the Prizes.

(This supersedes the Prize Packs I was talking about in earlier posts, and may seem to be a little bit like old Marvel subscription forms, or possibly like going to an old-style “Chinese-Canadian Cuisine” restaurant…Marvel, j’accuse!  Vous etes un racist!)

First, pick one from:

List 1

Hard Boiled, by Frank Miller and Geoff Darrow;  The Spirit:  Vol. I, by Darwyn Cooke, J. Bone, and Dave Stewart

Eighth Annual Edition Of The Worst From MAD, by the Usual Gang Of Idiots (reprint);  National Lampoon Sunday Newspaper Parody (seq. to 1964 Yearbook), by Various

Beanworld:  Book One and Beanworld:  Book Four, by Larry Marder (Beanworld Press);  Hellboy:  The Wild Hunt #8 of 8, by Mike Mignola and Duncan Fegredo;  Sandman:  The Dream Hunters #3, by Neil Gaiman and P. Craig Russell

The Goon:  Nothin’ But Misery, by Eric Powell;  buncha Panic reissues, by Various

Second, pick two from:

List 2

MAD #137 (Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice parody)

MAD #155 (Godfather parody)

MAD #157 (Planet Of The Apes parody)

MAD #159 (A Clockwork Orange parody)

MAD #160 (“horizontal hold”)

MAD #166 (“finger” issue)

MAD #170 (Exorcist parody)

MAD #215 (Apocalypse Now parody)

[All MADs in this List are originals from '71 to '80, bagged and boarded and in what I think is pretty darn good condition; a MAD novelty item or book may be included with selection, slightly slimmer chance a non-MAD novelty item or book may be included with selection but that's the chance you take]

Third, accept or decline one of the following Mystery Get-Rid-Of-Loads-Of-Crappy-Stuff Packages named after some comics-blogging friends of ours:

The RAB

The Fortress Keeper

The Harvey Jerkwater

The Andrew Hickey

The Sean Witzke (VCR required)

And if those five people so-named can just describe their favourite sandwiches here?  Then who knows what unknown good may come of it in the future.

…Well, I hope to God that was clearer than the last poorly-phrased-referendum-question version, Bloggers…tell me, was it clear?  Did I screw up yet again?

Do I have to call for the air strike, Yossarian?  JUST EAT THE COTTON, DAMN YOU…!  PRETEND IT’S DELICIOUS…!

Sigh, if it wasn’t clear this time, it will once again be my fault…and I’ll probably have to find another way to get rid of this absurdly-accumulating excellent stuff that’s all around me these days.

And everybody has a share, you know?

Uh…say, everybody? Where you gone, man…?

Peace and no harm, Bloggers!

And over and out.

…And Buying Them For Three-And-A-Half Cents!

A clear profit of one cent per egg, Bloggers!  And everybody has a share.

So let’s review, now that every entry’s been catalogued:

It’s voting time.

But FIRST…!  Those of you who submitted entries, and who don’t already know which entry appeared under someone else’s name but was really me, please email me and tell me who you think I was posing as — one guess per customer.

Okay, and that being taken care of…Justin intimated to me that he was a little unclear on the voting, so let me lay it out for you folks.  Of the people who submitted entries for this little old meme of mine, some submitted just one, and others submitted more.  So the first thing we do — “we” meaning the poeple who submitted entries, plus me — the first thing we do is rank our top three favourite submissions, making sure that we don’t nominate any authors more than once.  And my voting in this is weighted the same as everybody else’s voting:  everybody who turned something in gets to vote on their top three, and they can vote for anyone they like, even if they vote for themselves.  But they can’t vote for any author more than once.  And that’s the big rule.

Then those votes go into the pool.

And then, once you’ve made your First Vote…kindly make your Second Vote in the same email!  This means, rank your three favourite entries that were submitted by people who submitted more than one entry apiece…but the big rule here is:  don’t vote for something in the Second Vote, that you already voted for in the First Vote.

Okay.

Now whoever wins the Second Vote — and I’ll let you know who it is! — they get to cast two more votes into the pool of the First Vote.  The only rule being:  they can’t vote for a submission of their own.

And then…

Well, then things get complicated.  Whoever is first to guess whose name I submitted my own entry under then gets one extra vote, that they can cast into the First Vote’s pool for anybody…including themselves.  BUT!  If no one correctly guesses who it was I pretended to be, then the person who kindly let me pretend to be them gets two votes to cast into the First Vote pool…and they can also vote for anybody including themselves.  So…

FIRST!  Email me and tell me who you think I was pretending to be.

SECOND!  Vote for your top three submissions.

THIRD!  Vote for your top three “second efforts”, by the people who submitted more than one entry.

FOURTH!  Wait to see what happens.  Eventually we will have three Winners and one Vulture.  And, man, this is probably way too complicated, right?

But NEVER MIND THAT NOW…!

Because when the smoke clears…honest, it’s gonna have worked out perfectly.

Okay…ready…set

GO!

Selling Eggs For Two-And-A-Half Cents…

Okay, that was fun, TV Space Meme People!  I had a really good time.  Thanks for contributing, eh?  You’ve stimulated my mind, not to sound too much like Bill Cosby in the Eighties…

And it’s a smaller group of us this time:  I make it Bill, Harvey, Sean, Clone, Andrew, Mike, Jonathan, Justin, RAB, Matthew, and Kieran.  Have I forgotten anyone?  Still hoping Mikesensei will bestir himself and add one in, and so I’m gonna give it ’til Monday morning ’til I close it for real…but basically I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t dispense prizes more liberally than the last time, since as I said I have this box ‘o stuff to dispose of.  So with an eye to that end, I think what we ought to do is have ourselves a more complicated voting system, just to make it as fun/annoying/democratic as possible.

Like STV!

So let’s do it like this:

We’ll all put in our top three votes for the winning entry, and mine will be no better than yours.  You can pick any entry, it doesn’t matter which, but you can’t pick the same entrant twice

Then we’ll vote for our favourite of the “second efforts”…that is, of the people who made a second entry, the entry they made that you didn’t vote for in the first ballot, you can vote for here.  And then the winner of these second efforts is awarded what I took for myself in the Time-Travel meme but am not taking here:  two extra votes to be cast in the first ballot.

And then there’s one more thing:  when I call it on Sunday night/Monday morning, the first person to correctly identify who I was impersonating by emailing me privately with their (one) guess…will receive one extra vote to be cast in the first ballot.  And here’s the kicker:

The winner of the second efforts may not cast their extra votes for themselves.

But the winner of the “guess the impostor” contest may cast their extra vote for themselves.

And if no one guesses the stalking-horse, then the stalking-horse wins two votes they can cast…for themselves, if they like.

So it’s sort of like that NBC reality show, oh what was it called…”GAY WITCH-HUNT”?

Something like that.

And the three ultimate winners, what do they win?

So glad you asked.  They win first picks of a list of stuff I have to get rid of, among which are the following:

Hard Boiled, by Frank Miller and Geoff Darrow, plus The Spirit:  Book One, by Darwyn Cooke, J. Bone, and Dave Stewart

MAD Pack #1:  a MAD novelty item and a bagged-and-boarded 1970s movie-parody-cover MAD that is not a second-stringer but one of the ones you want (and tell me your birthday, I may be able to hook something up with that)

MAD Pack #2:  some rare MAD novelty items and a bagged-and-boarded 1980s movie-parody-cover MAD (again, the non-second-stringer and birthday thing)

MAD Pack #3:  Dave Berg’s “My Friend God” paperback, paperback of “The MAD Morality:  or, The Ten Commandments Revisited”, and some weird-ass promo MAD cards of some sort, that I don’t know what they even are?

Again, Dangerous Visions vol. II, ed. Harlan Ellison, plus whatever’s behind Curtain #3…!

…And that’s as worthless as it gets, guys, honestly.  I’m still assembling the three or four additional packages that this list needs to be really interesting…a Comics Grab-Bag, a Paperback Grab-Bag…but trust me, would I steer you wrong?  Would I just hand you garbage?  There are some things I can’t store, and have to get rid of, that are essentially unsellable-though-cool…I figured I could bundle them with cool stuff people might actually like?  I promise, none of these packages will be disappointments.

Anyway, let’s all start thinkin’ about it.

Okay?

Synchronize Bulovas…!

…And, seriously, another prize to whoever gets that reference, too…

And then they also win first picks of what’s left, to donate to someone they thought submitted an excellent entry that did not crack the top three, who is not also themselves.

And then when they’re done, the “guess the impostor” winner can pick one out of what’s left in the pile for themselves.

Does it meet with your approval, my warriors?

GOOD.

Then let’s start the clock ticking…and it doesn’t just have to be Mikesensei who slips in a late entry, or even a late second effort.

And don’t think the “guess the impostor” thing is going to be something I’ve made easy for you, either!

How Would You Fix…?

(With apologies to Nate, who…still hasn’t put up the geektastic “Kryptonian Exceptionalism” post I worked so hard on for him?  COME ON, MAN!)

(Uh…unless it sucked, and you’re saving me from public embarrassment…in which case, keep on doing what you’re doing…)

So I put the question to you, Comics Bloggers…and there is no prize for this one, but I’ve just got to know…

WHY IS MARVEL COMICS’ ARTHURIAN STUFF SO GODDAMN LAME?

And what could be done to change it from lame to not-lame?

I mean, the Matter Of Britain has obsessed the Western imagination for eight hundred years:  we can’t get enough of it.  We’d eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if we could.  And so it’s real fertile ground for a “superheroic past” in the Mighty Marvel Mode…and yet…

It seems extraordinarily out of place, in it.

Well, it seemed a bit out of place in the DC universe also, until Seven Soldiers came along and rebooted the Arthurian connections with monohydrazine (okay, ONE prize…for the person who can identify that reference.  And a bit more on the matter of prizes is just to come)…

But MAN, Marvel’s Arthurian stuff is tired and boring and stupid.  Isn’t it?

So how would you fix it?

Tell me;  unless you’re such a coward you’d let the Commies fix it first, Ben Grimm!

Nothing Up My Sleeve, Ladies And Gentlemen…

Holy cats, take a look at THIS!

Now that’s the biggest magic trick I’ve ever seen!

And so the time of miraculous celestial events continues…twenty years and counting…Jesus, what if it just keeps going like this?  Science fiction writers are not going to be able to type fast enough to keep up.

You’re welcome.

Indiana Jones And The Comforters Of Job

So…

I’m not watching House anymore.

But I think it came as a mild surprise to those who know me that I ever watched it at all. Me, with the anxiety problems all tightly clustered around health issues…medical shows are panic meltdowns waiting to happen, obviously, as far as I’m concerned.

Ordinarily, this would be true.

But House had something going for it that no other modern medical drama could match, and that’s disassociation. Uh…that’s the Brechtian thing, right?

I’m saying that right, aren’t I?

Anyway House was actually a pretty good inoculation against health-based panic, I found. Perhaps it begins right with the patients, all in the direst possible need, the most impossibly hopeless situation…subject to the most amazing confluence of both destructively invasive surgical procedures, and futile ones. Their loved ones all freaking out. Drama. Music. Of course in a notable break from the modern medical show’s formula, House saves almost all of the poor sick creatures…which is good stuff for me anyway, right there!…and yet of still greater importance is the crap they go through along the way (was there ever a patient on this show who didn’t vomit up blood, or have a heart attack in an MRI machine?), often to be finally resolved with a three-week course of pills you can buy from any drugstore, and then they’re gone. Not that this is Cronenberg by any means, but it’s some pretty striking bio-voyeurism for network TV…while House and his cronies spit bizarre terms at each other, labyrinthine magic spells of diagnosis that verge on the laughable, verge on the infuriating, verge on the onanistic, verge on the obscene…we already don’t care about the patient, that’s the point, the patient is already being stripped of their role as focus, as specific human character, as site of sympathy, identification, and concern…as that’s going on we’re treated to a psychedelic display of their inner goopiness, the mindless constituents that make them (as in some current biological perspectives) nothing much more than a colony of organs, a table of contents, a turbulent pattern of small independent entities that all together create the temporary illusion of a single larger creature with a single larger identity. But then?

Then the case is cracked, and somebody writes a prescription for some garden-variety antibiotics or something, and they’re gone. Disappeared from our sight, again whole and impenetrable. The visions cease along with the jargon. The intimacy with their traumatic flesh fades along with the ludicrously charged technique of abstraction that is the differential diagnosis…and in that moment comes the voyeur’s truest and most potent frisson, which is nowhere else than in the end of the illicit interval, the end of the fever dream…the restoration of the separateness that was really there the whole time anyway, that in fact drove the entire episode.

Because that’s what voyeurs do, you know; they experiment with the membranes between themselves and other people. They twist them and distort them, looking for the most perfect, the most tantalizing illusion. But that’s all they do, because that’s all they’re looking for.

And TV watchers are voyeurs in this mode too, obviously. So, identification with the terrified patient? That’s not what this show’s about. And the members of House’s team aren’t important in this sense either — we’re not supposed to care about them, and so things are arranged so that it’s pretty difficult to do so. The Cameron-Chase-Foreman bunch are simply hateful, aggravating to us as to House himself, not really people so much as the three panes of a make-up mirror; whereas the new bunch are aggressively opaque, too-solid personalities that know how to keep themselves to themselves while they’re doing their jobs. We have to intuit the shape of their interior spaces, because we can’t see them; just as we never have to intuit the inner life of Cameron and Chase and Foreman, because they too are constantly vomiting up their blood for us.

In other words: they’re out, too. Sometimes they are interestingly out…but they’re out regardless.

Then you’ve got Wilson, and Cuddy, and finally our titular character. Whose main attraction is that he’s always stubborn because he’s always right. He’s right about Wilson, for example: Wilson’s nowhere near as honest as House. Wilson’s a bag of jangling forks, Wilson’s clearly a head case, that guy’s got issues…I mean, we do care about him, at the beginning of every episode we even like him and care about him, but by the end of the episode House is still right, and Wilson’s not. And so there’s one more layer of identification peeled away: House, not Wilson, is the hero…

…Who’s right about Cuddy, too: and she’s more honest than either of the other main characters, but it’s not like it saves her. What she wants, she can’t get: as Wilson persuades himself that his fantasies can come true if he only acts them out sincerely enough, Cuddy waits for things to get better as they get truer...and then has to figure out what to do with herself if that never happens.  If that faith is never justified.

As it never will be. And, wow, just think how beautifully sympathetic those two characters are, eh? How strongly we would identify with them both, if this were any other show! That’s your human dilemma right there, for heaven’s sake! But then there’s House, and he always ruins it. There’s always something about his human dilemma, that Wilson and Cuddy can’t encapsulate. Because he’s the hero, and they’re not; Hugh Laurie acts the hell out of every scene he’s in, growling through his own special Christian Bale voice — no one actually talks like that, you know! — I mean doesn’t he sound like he’s struggling? Isn’t it just like a drunk putting extra processing cycles into his enunciation? Isn’t that, kind of, the whole point of his delivery? — and he’s got everything it takes, he’s got the cane, he’s got the pain, he’s got the sarcasm and the sensitive blue eyes…we’re not going to identify with anybody but this guy by the end of the episode, are we? Like us, he’s so misunderstood…like us, he’s got a heart of gold…like us, he’s trying to suffer as honestly as he can, so that whatever tiny grain of redemption he can get out of his life will at least have been earned. AWWW…! POOR LITTLE FELLA! If only everybody else could see what we can see…!

Except then he blows it all up, doesn’t he?

He does something unforgivable, that’s just for us. Every episode.  So in the end, we can’t identify with House either. Because the only thing he’s got going for him is that he’s good at his job…but then again, if we already don’t care about his patients, why should we care about that?

And so who’s left?

The answer is: just the person watching the show. We’re the only person left, to identify with.

And so here’s the ultimate disassociation, the ultimate reason why House, bizarrely of all modern medical dramas, doesn’t pluck my anxiety wire but instead artfully stills its quivering: because the only source of tension in the show lies within House himself…and to amplify it only addresses it, and to address it only resolves it, but either way it can never explain it, so to ramp it up, to seek to get closer to it, is pointless. Because House fascinates me, but only in the manner that his patients fascinate him. In other words, I don’t really care about House. I just want to see what he does. I just want to know what makes him the way he is. Hey, I want to watch Hugh Laurie act, is that so strange a thing?

But to feel something for House…no. It’s not what I’m here for.  So it’s not what I’m given.  And that’s the genius of it.

Which is why I’m not really watching it anymore. Although it’s still of some perhaps academic interest to me, as an example of what happens when shows try to reinvent themselves on the fly. I mean, it’s definitely a pattern, you know? Suddenly the characters become much more important than they were, and you’re supposed to care about them more: it’s decadence, but decadence can be interesting, decadence can have its own special frisson to it. When House hallucinated Amber for the last time on the bus, and she told him that “you can’t always get what you want”…well, one of the ways you could tell it was the end of the story was that line, a direct callback to the first episode. That story ended right there, that was closure. But then…

…To my astonishment, it came back, and I had to watch. What could they do with these ingredients, without a recipe? I did wonder. Because sometimes, though rarely, shows do manage to reinvent themselves successfully, even by unravelling all the things they used to be about. It can be done! And what I wanted to know was…

…Would they do it? Would they get better from the end of the story?

Well, the answer is that they did, and they didn’t. The “opaque” nature of House’s second team still had a surprising amount of mileage in it, and Wilson was still funny, and to see House try to change himself was…unnecessary, perhaps, but once having swallowed that pill there did turn out to be some beneficial effects proceeding from it. Of course none of it would’ve worked at all without Andre Braugher, who I think most people would watch in anything…hell, I’d watch Hugh Laurie in anything too, so it made it that much better: certain amount of mirroring going on in that room, a certain amount of gravitas, a certain amount of potentially-useful symbolism. And you know, I did want to believe they could figure it all out, after the epilogue. How, once you start messing around with the show’s essential systems, exposing this, resolving that, testing that other thing to destruction in the name of momentary dramatic punch, and above all finishing things off…how, then, do you find a way to keep it all going somewhere, instead of settling in one place and staring at its navel all day. Or even going backwards. For a while, I was even hopeful that they had figured it all out…and that the frisson I felt was the tingle of a new illusory excitement, rather than simply a sign of the old one exhausting itself, and finally allowing reality to return.

But, since the milestone has come and gone, I’ve been pretty sure they didn’t figure it out after all. And now I’m really out of it. Because since I do not care about House, House’s story doesn’t have a potential climax to it, for me…or at least, not one it hasn’t already passed. I mean, what kind of redemption can the guy possibly get, at this point? What’s left, that he hasn’t already gotten? He’s had an unborn baby’s hand wrapped around his finger, that would turn me freakin’ religious, I’m telling you. So after something like that, what’s left?

What’s left?

Is the series going to end with Wilson shooting House in the head? Or what? Is this “The Killing Joke”, is there actually going to be a moral?

It’s inconceivable. House always does something to screw it all up for himself — with his friends, with his hospital, with the law, with his love interests, with the viewers. Now all the stuff that used to make this show go has been unpacked and dissected, all that’s left to do is revisit resolutions we’ve already discarded, and hope one of them sticks better than it did the first time. Decadence? The only thing worse than decadence is the failure to push through it to something that’s genuinely new, instead of just to something that looks new but really isn’t. This is how we get “back-to-basics” serialized storytelling, people, and you know how incestuously bankrupt that gets! What will be left to say, after all, once one day the disease finally does turn out to be lupus? Once every possible cast member has dated the metaphorical equivalent of Tori Spelling’s character, shouldn’t that be the point where the plug gets pulled? To me at least, it seems plain that the time to polish this off for good was after House got out of the mental hospital. Then they could’ve done House made-for-TV movies ’til the end of time, a fresh start with old characters…”Whatever Happened To Gregory House”, or perhaps “The Diagnostician Returns”…if this season could’ve been those movies, I think there would’ve been room to move, still. Ways to avoid trying for a satisfying conclusion that House’s character will never let anyone, including us, enjoy. Such a metatextual sort of show deserves a metatextual sort of end, I think, if it’s to have a proper end at all: because we can’t afford to get sucked into the story of Dr. House, anymore than I can afford to get sucked into the ordinary heartstring-pulling hyperidentification-panic of the modern medical drama. I’d have to turn it off.

You’d have to turn it off.

In the Bible, the comforters of Job were those who made his suffering worse by trying to alleviate it. Serialized fiction writers, all! Because in the end, we all try to fix our way out of old stories, possibly because it seems like the right thing to do…because it seems like what you would do, if you had the best of intentions. Not that you can’t ever try to give the people what they want…but just consider how even that miracle of heroic cliche Indiana Jones fares, when his antagonist is someone other than the God of Abraham.

He can’t function.

And so it really doesn’t matter if he gets the girl or not.  You know it recently struck me, though it’s really part of a much bigger point, that I never bemoan my age when I’m feeling it. It’s only when I don’t feel as old as I am, that I feel I’m losing time. Lots and lots of time. And you know why that is?  It’s because the illusion is so superficially appealing, that I forget it’s all about the eventual return to earth.

I forget that’s where the real story is.

Frozen Pizza, Old Phones, Mel Brooks…And Shameless Self-Promotion

So, what’s happening in the daily news?  I’ll tell you what’s happening in the daily news…

…Basically it’s a real mixed bag.  My friend Jack doing some interesting work on randomness that does not involve black holes or collapsing wave functions (which is AWESOME), my old Bakelite rotary-dial phones finally being rendered obsolete for buzzing people into my building or indeed even knowing they’re standing at the door half the time…still I refuse to have a phone that lacks a bell inside it, so if you want to visit me you’re basically going to have to write me a letter that outlines your intention to come over…the sending of various bad emails and loose email-cognates by the personage known locally as Me, whose favourite sin is communication and whose household god is clearly Cheap Pilsener, and the noting of a junk anniversary that, against all expectations, has sort of just crept up on me.  Got another one in three days, too.

But oh well.  Also there is a movie on TV that features Mel Brooks wearing a dirty and ragged suit, which is a thing which is Always Funny, and there are three new songs — one for this album, which since the last time I shamelessly promoted it has now grown to the size of a glass half-full (so you should give it another look, should you be so inclined as to do so), and two for the next album, whose working title is “Sophomore Slump”.  Funny, huh?

Well…let’s hope it is.

It’s actually turning into a somewhat fascinating experiment:  how to recapture all that foley-artist stuff they did in the Buddy Holly days, and where to start?  For the next recording session I am going to try my damnedest to convince the harmonica player to sit inside an aluminum garbage can…maybe try to sample a horn from a semi?  Which in all honesty does not sound unlike a harmonica that’s been put through a digital wringer anyway.  Here, backup singer, stuff your mouth with these peanut shells and sing standing on your head in the bathtub!  I must tell you seriously, Notional Reader…to do this stuff in 2010, it’s fun.  It’s beyond lo-fi, and into the realm of carpentry.  It’s a very entertaining learning curve.  But, I guess I’m about done talking about it here…after all, don’t I have some reviews coming?

You know what, I actually do.

But first there are these frozen pizzas to be dealt with.

So…meet you back here when the clock resumes its ticking.  And if you live in Vancouver, you should know that Uncle Fatih’s Pizza (which is of course never frozen, but always fresh) has a new location on the West Side…tell you what, if you go down there tonight you may see me, actually.  I mean, frozen pizza…honestly, who needs it?  Never has so much time been spent on concocting different names for the same crappy thing.  We could house every homeless person in the city if we just outlawed the casual use of the term “Tuscan Chicken”, I sometimes think…

PLACEHOLDER ENDS.

Good Lord, and not before time, eh?

I’ve missed you, Blogging Habit.  Let’s make it work.


May 2010
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I can no longer be reached at Gmail. When I find a decent webmail to replace it with, I'll let you know.

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