Dear Anti-Download Comics Creators

I notice that sometimes you say things like “illegally downloading a comic is every bit as wrong as illegally downloading music.”

With utmost respect, and with complete understanding of your position, let me make this request of you: STOP FUCKING PRESUMING TO SPEAK FOR ME, IF YOU DON’T MIND. I’m a music publisher, and I DON’T agree with that statement of yours, and I’m NOT alone in that, so please stop with the goddamn fait accompli, and stop dragging that horse behind that cart. I am not pre-empting you, after all. I may speak for myself, as a comic-book reader, but I’m happy to say that I think I stop short of counselling others. For example, I’m rarely heard to say:

“Claiming there’s something wrong with downloading free music is as absurd as claiming there’s something wrong with downloading free comics!”

Know what I mean?

So if you’d return that courtesy, that’d be swell.

Or…I don’t know, should I start saying it? Because it kind of helps my position, you know. Yes, it would definitely work in my favour…

Nose. It. Out of. Thank you. And by all means download all the songs by me you want, copy ‘em, mash ‘em up, give ‘em to your friends, feed ‘em to your dog, anything you want so long as money isn’t made. Peace and The Daily Show to you, comics creators; I feel sure that we will resume living in harmony very soon now.